I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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