Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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