Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Eric got herpes from Jo-ann

(914): View more from New York

That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian

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(917): Eric got herpes from Jo-ann (914): That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian http://tfl.nu/xico

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.

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(724): Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like. http://tfl.nu/trgq

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(678): View more from Georgia

My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU

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(678): My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU http://tfl.nu/x7kk

Replies (76) Good night (6203) Bad night (754)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(404): Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song... http://tfl.nu/qxfs

Replies (35) Good night (1102) Bad night (4488) Order T-Shirt
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(402): View more from Nebraska

your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me

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(402): your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me http://tfl.nu/38h8

Replies (28) Good night (7272) Bad night (743) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE

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(508): I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE http://tfl.nu/54pd

Replies (23) Good night (1752) Bad night (5572) Order T-Shirt
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(513): View more from Ohio

We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.

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(513): We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case. http://tfl.nu/f3uf

Replies (17) Good night (3749) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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(417): View more from Missouri

You totally left a blue butt print on our banister

(573): View more from Missouri

Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.

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(417): You totally left a blue butt print on our banister (573): Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time. http://tfl.nu/r57f

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(845): View more from New York

Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"

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(845): Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person" http://tfl.nu/45pt

Replies (3) Good night (919) Bad night (1918) Order T-Shirt
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(517): View more from Michigan

Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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(517): Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons. http://tfl.nu/2wud

Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (777)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.

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(918): I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control. http://tfl.nu/enjx

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(951): View more from California

I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.

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(951): I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement. http://tfl.nu/1khp

Replies (2) Good night (1220) Bad night (383)
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(360): View more from Washington

You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.

(1-360): View more from Washington

I'm puking in a turkey pan....

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(360): You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal. (1-360): I'm puking in a turkey pan.... http://tfl.nu/y4jv

Replies (6) Good night (1025) Bad night (324)
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(344): View more from

So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof

(774): View more from Massachusetts

They're waiting for you to die

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(344): So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof (774): They're waiting for you to die http://tfl.nu/5pk9

Replies (6) Good night (1868) Bad night (311)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

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(919): I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going... http://tfl.nu/t999

Replies (7) Good night (228) Bad night (954) Order T-Shirt

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