We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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