and you said cock pushups were impossible
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize