We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize