If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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