the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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