would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
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we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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