I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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