I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize