the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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