Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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