Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
My vagina just clenched in fear
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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