Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
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