And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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