i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
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They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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