So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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