so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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