Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize