last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize