I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
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So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
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Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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