What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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