i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
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theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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