Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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