my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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