should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize