I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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