I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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