I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize