I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
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Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
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Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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