This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
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Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
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He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
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