Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ttyl tear gas
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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