dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize