I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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