ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
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dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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