i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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