just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize