billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize