Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i think i just lost a toe
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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