I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how hot balto sounded
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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