Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
dude. I can hear the air.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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