ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
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It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
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The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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