the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize