ya dads aren't the best wingmen
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
organizing the empties. That sober.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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