cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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