i don't plan on having that self control this summer
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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