Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize