haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Randomize