He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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